One partner often shoulders the burden of retirement planning for couples instead of making it a shared responsibility. Many couples let pension contributions and retirement planning become one person’s job. Spouses in expat relationships tend to have bigger pension savings than their partners.
Retirement planning imbalances create major blind spots for couples. This condition applies to partners with age gaps, childless couples, and married couples alike. Spouses typically accumulate 30 qualifying years on their national insurance record with various defined-contribution pensions. Their partners might only have five qualifying years. These gaps can cause unexpected problems when retirement time arrives.
Expat Wealth At Work shows you how to spot and prevent common retirement planning mistakes couples make. You’ll learn to balance different pension situations, arrange your retirement goals, and make decisions together as equal partners.
Why Retirement Planning Should Be a Joint Effort
Couples naturally split household duties based on their strengths and priorities. Money management follows the same pattern. There are four different financial management styles among couples. 17% have a dominant “driver”, 19% are hands-off “passengers”, 53% share all duties, and all but one of these groups (11%) use a “divide and conquer” approach.
This strategy proves to be the most effective. Partners split different money tasks between them. These couples save more money (38% have over €715,657) and feel happier in retirement.
How couples often divide financial responsibilities
Most couples develop a system where one person handles daily expenses while their partner manages investments and future planning. Research reveals many relationships leave financial planning to just one partner. Such an arrangement might seem like the quickest way, but it creates problems that can hurt your retirement security.
Why one-sided planning can lead to blind spots
Single-partner retirement planning creates serious gaps. Half of all couples disagree about retirement timing and savings goals. One-third of pre-retired couples have different retirement dreams. Over 40% don’t know their partner’s income or their needed retirement savings accurately.
These gaps appear because assumptions replace real conversations without shared planning. Each partner builds their own retirement picture, and these pictures often clash.
The emotional side of retirement decisions
Retirement brings more than money changes—it transforms your psychology and relationships. Life’s big changes affect each person’s identity, roles, and connections. Retirement offers personal freedom but might take away an important part of who you are.
Couples face more stress during their first two years of retirement, especially when husbands retire first. Jobs work like children—they buffer relationships. Unresolved issues surface quickly once work routines disappear.
Joint retirement planning builds stronger emotional connections and helps partners arrange their money goals together, reducing risks and uncertainties. Planning as a team helps you build your future vision together, not just secure your finances.
Understanding the Imbalance in Pension Contributions
Pension wealth distribution shows a stark imbalance in many relationships. All but one in seven couples have equal pension savings. One partner holds over 90% of the pension wealth in half of all couples.
Why one partner may have more pension savings
Women face a tough reality when it comes to pensions. Their risk of poverty in retirement is 35% higher than men’s across the EU. The numbers paint an even bleaker picture for married couples aged 65-69. Men’s median pension wealth stands at €298,000 while women have just €32,000. Self-employed people also tend to save less for retirement. They often lack access to job-based pension schemes and deal with unpredictable income.
The impact of career breaks and location
Career breaks create the biggest gaps in pension savings. Women take breaks 12 times more often than men to raise children—36% compared to 3%. These breaks hit hard financially. A woman who takes a five-year break at age 35 ends up with €80,000 less in pension savings than someone who keeps working.
Living and working across borders complicates pension rights. Working in different EU countries means you build up pension rights in each place. The challenge arises because different countries have their own retirement ages and rules. Such variations can create timing issues when you try to access your benefits.
How this affects long-term planning
The pension imbalance leaves the partner with lower savings vulnerable. Lower earners find it challenging to put money into retirement funds. Years pass, and one partner builds a large pension while the other has little financial independence.
Relying on the higher earner’s pension to cover both partners brings risks. Things can go wrong through illness, separation, or death. Couples should vary their savings options to reduce dependence on one person’s pension. Such an approach makes retirement planning more secure.
Some solutions exist to balance these differences. Spouse contribution splitting helps equalise pension balances. Couples who talk openly about money and set shared goals make better long-term choices. This protects both partners’ financial future.
Key Questions Every Couple Should Discuss
Smart retirement planning starts with couples asking the right questions together. Early discussions will give both partners a clear picture of their future and help avoid wrong assumptions.
What does retirement look like for both of us?
You should talk about your retirement dreams right from the start. Maybe you want to see the world, pick up new hobbies, help others, or keep working part-time? Many couples fail to discuss their retirement plans because they mistakenly believe they are in agreement. Even after years together, partners often want different things—some dream of constant travel while others prefer a quiet life at home.
Where do we want to live after retirement?
Picking your retirement home is a vital decision that needs to balance money matters with lifestyle. You’ll need to think about several things: can you afford it (housing costs, utilities, taxes), is healthcare nearby, do you like the weather, what’s around, and how safe is it? Staying put might seem easy, but take time to check if your current place has everything you’ll need as you grow older.
How are our pensions taxed in different countries?
Taxes can affect retirement income by a lot for people retiring abroad. Some countries want to attract retirees with special tax deals that can cut your tax bill in half or even more. Greece lets qualifying retirees pay just 7% tax, Italy charges 7% on foreign money if you live in the south, Cyprus asks for 5% on foreign pensions, and Malta has a flat 15% rate on pension money.
Do we both qualify for state pensions?
Your work history determines if you can get a state pension. Working in different EU countries means you’ll build up pension rights in each place. The UK state pension usually requires at least 10 qualifying years on your National Insurance record. Each country has its own rules—some want you to work a minimum time, while others give benefits based on how much you’ve paid in.
From Financial Planning to Life Planning
Retirement planning together turns abstract financial numbers into a shared vision for life. The shift from saving money to building your dream lifestyle needs both partners to take part.
Why shared goals matter more than numbers
Your pension accounts only provide a partial picture. The real purpose of retirement planning is to create a life you both want to live. Couples who expect to retire together are 36% more likely to do so, compared to just 15% for those without shared plans. Couples who line up their retirement goals also report better well-being and smoother transitions into retirement.
How to involve both partners in decision-making
Here’s how to bring in a partner who’s less interested in finances:
- Accept that you may have different but matching financial roles
- Set up regular planning sessions with both of you present
- Check in one-on-one with the less-involved partner
Almost half of all couples don’t agree on their retirement needs, even when they think they’re well-prepared. Your planning trip works better when you keep talking openly about your goals.
Tools and advisors that can help couples plan together
Professional guidance helps direct complex choices. Look for advisors who:
- Meet both spouses to build complete strategies
- Offer detailed retirement planning
- Balance personal needs while deepening shared connections
A successful retirement needs both partners to plan as a team.
Final Thoughts
Couples who jointly plan their retirement are significantly more successful than those who do it alone. You’ve seen how pension gaps between partners create weak spots. Mismatched expectations often lead to friction or letdowns. Taking time to talk about your shared retirement dreams pays off both money-wise and emotionally.
International couples face their own set of hurdles. They need to figure out tax rules, state pension qualifications, and voluntary contribution choices. Many couples think they share the same retirement outlook without ever really talking it through.
Retirement planning goes way beyond numbers and pension math. This new chapter of life could last decades. Financial security sets the base, but your shared values and dreams give it real meaning. Both partners need an equal say in planning, whatever the size of their pension contributions.
Good communication helps you dodge the common traps mentioned in this piece. Set up regular talks about your retirement dreams and make choices as a team. Pick advisors who value both partners’ views. Reach out now to begin planning with confidence.
The trip to retirement works best as a team effort. Your active involvement in planning creates both financial security and a meaningful future vision. You’ve built your lives as one – now shape a retirement that brings both of your dreams to life.

